Sin City silliness on 'The Bachelorette'

 

Last night's episode of "The Bachelorette" began with Chris Harrison ordering the 18 remaining suitors in the living room to explain how the show works. Even after advancing to the next round, few of the suitors understand the concept of shaving.

William is the recipient of the first one-on-one date with Ashley, with a promise that he'll be making a splash in Las Vegas. Pools and Vegas - we can strike two show trademarks off our "Bachelorette" bingo card.
Meanwhile, "Phantom" Jeff, who's now wearing a knit cap to go with his mask, pledges to take the mask off on his first one-on-one date with Ashley. Good thing, as his new look screams "ready to rob a bank by the fourth episode."
Ashley and William are now in Las Vegas, where they drop by a cake shop, then head to a jeweler to look at rings. Next stop is the wedding chapel, where William hands Ashley a potted plant for her bouquet.
Hold everything!  Is the show ending after two episodes?  Will Chris Harrison sue for breach of contract?  Thankfully, Ashley saves the day, telling William that there's 17 other guys to consider (there's also a thing about a marriage license, but who's paying attention?).
Later that night, William and Ashley have dinner in the middle of the Bellagio fountain pool (Hope their food's cooked right - tough getting a waiter down there).  Ashley gives William a rose, the fountains go off and nobody gets wet.
Twelve suitors now head to Vegas for a dance off at the Monte Carlo hotel/casino. Six of the men will get to perform with the dance crew "JabbaWockeeZ" and spend the night with Ashley, while the others will head back to the manor. After a series of routines that seemed to last a couple of hours, the men who called themselves "No Rhythm Nation" came out on top.
One of the men on the winning team is Bentley, who we were warned last week may not be on the show for the right reasons. He essentially confirmed it to the cameras, saying that Ashley was not his type. Nevertheless, Ashley gave the rose to Bentley, who then asked the cameraman if he could "bag it" and play blackjack. Finally, someone on the show who understands how Vegas works!
The final one-on-one date was determined by, of all things, a coin toss, with Mickey the chef upending J.P. The coin flipping continued in Vegas, as Ashley and Mickey flipped to decide what wine to get, who would get it and whether Mickey would get a rose. The coin ended "rose side up" on the last one, but Ashley admitted that Mickey would have received the rose regardless. The coin may not be the only thing that's flipped.
Back at the manor, "Phantom" finally gets one-on-one time with Ashley and talks about how he survived a brain hemorrhage. He's set to take off his mask when Matt Colombo walks into the room. "Phantom" opts to scoot, still masked.
Ashley then returns to Bentley, who admits to the cameras that he'd rather swim in his own, er, bodily fluid then get into a relationship with her. The two kiss, and Bentley's not impressed. Ashley then tells the world that she has good radar (in addition to being warned by a former contestant), and she believes Bentley is sincere about being on the show. Time to get the radar serviced, Ashley. As for Bentley, he'd make a great supervillain if he didn't sound as dull as driftwood.
At the rose ceremony, Matt got the boot, along with two guys I forgot were still on the show. Matt departed by leaving a voice mail to his mother, asking her to pick him up at the airport.
Next week, frenetic dancing, bad attempts at comedy and Bentley drops a bombshell.
What did you think of last night's "Bachelorette" episode?